sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
