I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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