how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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