I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
