im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
