____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Randomize
