i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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