it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
