If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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