I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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