is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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