i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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