We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The air taste purple.
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