So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
