Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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