how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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