So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
