All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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