Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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