is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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