you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
