It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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