We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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