I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
