He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She's the barista slut.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
