Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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