I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
