i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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