Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
