Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
