I'm jealous of your bromance
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
