well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
