I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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