hell yes lets make some ravioli
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
