ya dads aren't the best wingmen
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Sacagawea was the original milf.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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