i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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