my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
