He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize