My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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