If that was your dad, he is hot
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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