and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
