wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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