i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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