can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
