It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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