elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I need water and some morals
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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