She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
