I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
