I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
