we have officially lost it.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
