so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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