just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
