How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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