all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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