I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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