well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
pray to the hookup gods
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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