It's like God shit irony all over that family
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
