New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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