You're completely useless in the revolution.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
